Sunday, February 19, 2017

When all you can do is watch the Gaming community from a distance all you see, I promise you, is darkness. This includes advertising. More often it is hatred and lies and fear and Teams. I fucking hate Teams. When people asked me if I'd ever put this back up I said it would take a lot but part of that would have to include being able to separate gaming, the activity I never got to engage in, from Gaming as a culture and community. People attacking Kiel and Patton Oswalt over the last week helped me sort that shit a bit.

Here's my start: I'm not a Gamer. That is not a title I have ever attached any value to and certainly would have had noooo reason to claim for the majority of my life. So I renounce it altogether. This is not a game blog, for that matter. It's a craft blog. It's where I show off hand made gifts I made for family and friends.

I have lots of uhhhh let's be uncharitable and call them emotional problems where the word Friend is concerned. Like Hero. Or Idol. For that matter Pride. Blame Jesus school for it. But if there's a cross I'm set to die on let it not be one for Gaming. Let it be pride in my friends.

Zak Smith isn't a serial harrasser transphobic anti-lgbt abuser assaulter doxxer gamergater ghostbro. Hasn't been for any of the near-decade that this has been going on. But if people insist that THIS is all we should talk about then I say let's talk about it. No distractions. So I'm taking this site down.

I'm going to try to figure out other ways to silence my other social media corners. I've never waded into this shit deeply because I've got my own bullshit and my own disabled wife and my own terrors to handle, I can't spend all day online waiting for my paint to dry or doing whatever it is people do that lets them yell at painters. I never wanted this to become my whole life the way it became Zak's.

There's another option, though: opting out altogether.

"They" don't "win" from this decision, only I win. "They" don't know or care about me so this doesn't affect their "win" one way or another.

I admit this risks little for me. I don't have a book coming out. I don't have a kickstarter I'm trying to launch or deliver on. I possibly never will now. I got a failed Patreon I abandoned months ago that I'd surrrrre like to know how to delete but it's apparently an aztec secret. Taking a stand doesn't cost me anything FINANCIALLY or hurt my standing in the Community. It just removes a thermal vent for my daily frustrations and takes away something I enjoy and take only the smallest measure of pride in. I wouldn't expect anyone to think of this as a great sacrifice or loss, truth be told it probably isn't.

I don't expect anybody else to do the same. In fact I expect that the biggest dogs in this fight cannot do the same - people like China or the folks at WOTC are woven into too much fabric of big business publishing to be able to fully black out their online presence even if it were in support of something major league like the travel ban crisis or the Orlando shooting. Certainly not for a guy they worked with getting slagged off on, that's just another day in publishing, has been for as long as there's been publishing. For other people whom I really respect and appreciate going dark would mean kneecapping creative efforts of theirs that DO matter, that WOULD mean "they" win. I hope that doesn't happen. But I'm not going to be a part of it one way or another. Instead I'm going to spend yet another struggling evening ruined by this shit taking everything off this site but this post, in case anybody stops by to wonder why they found a dead link.

I've had enough innuendo and "What is a fact anyway" and "Prove she didn't" over the last year. I had thought that most of us had.